The alarm rings at 5 am. Fajr (morning prayers) time.
Your eyes open, and immediately a battle begins.
Part of you knows you should rise for prayer, but another voice whispers, “Just 5 more minutes.”
Your body feels heavy, your bed unusually comfortable.
In this simple moment, you’re experiencing the push and pull of your “nafs”, your inner self, as it wrestles between spiritual aspiration and worldly comfort.
“Whoever knows himself, knows his Lord.”
These encounters with ourselves hold more wisdom than we realise. Think of your nafs as an inner universe, vast and complex, with its own weather patterns, seasons, and cycles.
They’re not just moments of restlessness; they’re invitations to look deeper, to understand the map of our own hearts, and through it, to catch glimpses of something greater than ourselves.
Self-knowledge is also a path to recognising and understanding Allah.
When a person comes to realise their own limitations, their dependence on Allah, and the purpose of their creation, they gain a deeper awareness of the Creator.
Knowing and establishing the relationship of the servant to the Creator is also in retrospect, knowing more about our Creator.
Dancing with the Nafs: A Tale of Two Wings
Your nafs (inner self) is like a bird with two wings – one pulls you toward the earth, the other lifts you toward the heavens.
Both wings are necessary – without the earthward pull, you wouldn’t know the sweetness of rising above it.
“And [by] the soul and He who proportioned it. And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness”
Quran 91:7-8
Like any universe, it contains both light and shadow, both order and chaos.
Understanding this universe isn’t just an intellectual exercise – it’s the key to understanding yourself and your journey toward Allah.
Pause & Reflect : Think about your last internal struggle. What did each wing say to you? Which voice did you follow, and why?
Hearts as Mirrors: Catching Glimpses of Divine Light
Have you ever noticed how a calm lake reflects the sky so perfectly that you can’t tell where water ends and sky begins?
Your heart works the same way. When it’s turbulent with worry, anger, or attachment, the reflection gets distorted.
But in moments of stillness – perhaps in sujood (prostration) or during those precious minutes of dawn – your heart can reflect something of the Divine.
Every act of mercy you show, every moment of patience you practice, every smile you share – these aren’t just good deeds. They’re moments when your heart-mirror catches and reflects a ray of divine light.
YOUR NAFS IS LIKE A BIRD WITH TWO WINGS – ONE PULLS YOU TOWARD THE EARTH, THE OTHER LIFTS YOU TOWARD THE HEAVENS. BOTH WINGS ARE NECESSARY – WITHOUT THE EARTHWARD PULL, YOU WOULDN’T KNOW THE SWEETNESS OF RISING ABOVE IT.
Lifting the Veils: What Stands Between You and You?
Sometimes we’re our own greatest mystery.
We think we know ourselves until someone cuts us off in traffic, or until we’re faced with a choice between what’s right and what’s easy.
These moments reveal the veils we didn’t even know were there – veils of ego, of old habits, of comfortable illusions.
Let’s Get Real: What triggered you today? What made you react in a way that surprised even yourself? That trigger is pointing to a veil asking to be lifted.
The Seeker’s Paradox: Empty Your Cup to Fill It
Here’s a strange thing about this journey: the more you learn about yourself, the more you realise how little you know.
It’s like climbing a mountain only to discover it’s part of a vast mountain range.
But don’t let this discourage you – this growing awareness of what you don’t know is actually a sign of progress.
“We will show them Our signs in the horizons and within themselves until it becomes clear to them that it is the truth.”
Quran 41:53
Walking the Path: Your Journey Through Spiritual Struggle
This journey isn’t about reaching a destination – it’s about walking the path with awareness. Here’s how you can start:
- Set aside 10 minutes before sleep for self-reflection
- Keep a small journal of your daily triggers and reactions
- Find moments of silence between your daily tasks
- Seek knowledge from a teacher and learn with the humility of a beginner
- Surround yourself with people who remind you of Allah
Start Now:
Choose one small practice from this list. Just one. Start tonight.
Remember, consistent small steps are like small battles that take you further than occasional big leaps.
As you close this page and return to your day, remember – every moment of self-awareness is a step toward divine awareness.
Every honest look in the mirror of your heart brings you closer to understanding not just yourself, but the One who created you.
Tonight, when you’re alone with your thoughts, don’t run from them. Sit with them. Listen to them. Let them lead you to knowing yourself better.
Because in knowing yourself – your strengths and weaknesses, your light and shadow – you begin to know your Lord.
“Battle has been enjoined upon you while it is hateful to you. But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allāh knows, while you know not.”
Quran 2:216
