سۡـــــــــمِ ٱللهِ ٱلرَّحۡـمَـٰنِ ٱلرَّحِـــــــيم
اللهم صل على سيدنا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه وسلم
In the name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
O Allah, send your peace and blessings upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon his family and companions
Two days into this spiritual retreat at Masjid Sembawang, and I began to feel the layers of worldly preoccupations peeling away. How strange it is that we must step away from the world to truly find our place within it.
Before arriving here, I had questioned my intentions – was I seeking genuine spiritual growth, or merely an escape from responsibility?
The answer came in unexpected moments of clarity.
The Journey Inward
In the pre-dawn hours, when we gather for Tahajjud prayer, I witness my heart slowly awakening from its slumber. The discipline (Riyadah) of rising while others sleep, of choosing worship over comfort, begins to reshape my inner landscape.
Each prostration becomes a step away from the tyranny of my ego (nafs), a journey toward something greater than myself.
The struggle is real – my body protests, my mind wanders, but something deeper within me recognizes this as essential nourishment for the soul.
“Ya Allah, I came here seeking peace, but You showed me that true peace begins with confronting my own spiritual poverty“, I whispered in the darkness.
The tears flow freely now, unrestrained by the usual barriers of self-consciousness. In this sacred space of retreat, there is no need for pretense.
Here, in the raw honesty of dawn, I began to understand that spiritual growth isn’t about adding something new, but about removing the veils that separate us from the awareness of Allah.
The Art of Presence
The daily sessions of remembrance (dhikr) and reflection taught me the meaning of true mindfulness. It’s not just about being present – it’s about being present with Allah.
Each breath becomes a reminder of His nearness, each heartbeat a testament to His sustaining grace. The spiritual nurturing (tarbiyah) I receive here goes beyond mere knowledge; it touches the essence (sir) of my being.
Our teacher, Ustaz Sameer speaks of the prophetic tradition of spiritual excellence (ihsan) – to worship Allah as if you see Him, and though you do not see Him, to know that He sees you.
In these moments of collective remembrance, I yearned to taste the sweetness of this state. The repetition of divine names isn’t merely a verbal exercise; it becomes a key unlocking chambers of the heart I didn’t know existed.
Our teacher explains how the heart, like a mirror, reflects divine light when polished through consistent remembrance and sincere repentance. Each act of worship, each moment of mindful presence, each sincere intention becomes part of this purification process.
The retreat provides the perfect container for this inner alchemy.
Signs in Creation – The World is a Tasbeeh
Between sessions, walking in the Masjid Sembawang’s garden, I notice how my awareness has shifted. The rustling leaves, the morning breeze, the subtle play of light and shadow – everything speaks of divine artistry. I realise how much beauty I’ve missed in my rush through life, how many signs I’ve overlooked in my heedlessness.
Community & Connection
I hear others share their struggles and victories, and I recognise my own journey in their words. We are all seeking the same thing – a way back to our Lord, a path to purification. The community here reminds me that while the spiritual path is deeply personal, we need not walk it alone.
AS THE RETREAT DRAWS TO A CLOSE, I FEEL BOTH LIGHTER AND MORE GROUNDED. THE WORLDLY CONCERNS THAT ONCE SEEMED SO OVERWHELMING NOW FALL INTO PROPER PERSPECTIVE.
Preparing for Return
What matters is not the quantity of our achievements, but the quality of our connection with Allah. Everything else flows from that essential relationship.
I understand now that this retreat is not an escape from life, but a return to its true purpose. The practices of Riyadah and Tarbiyah are not merely retreat activities – they are tools for transforming my daily existence into a continuous state of mindful worship. The challenge will be maintaining this awareness amidst the demands and distractions of everyday life.
The Continuous Journey
Tomorrow, I will return to my regular life, but I carry within me a sacred space that no external circumstance can disturb. The true test of this retreat’s blessings will be in maintaining that inner stillness amidst life’s inevitable storms.
Each moment becomes an opportunity to remember, each challenge a chance to return to this state of presence.
Ya Allah, let this not be merely a temporary state, but the beginning of a lasting transformation. Grant me the strength to maintain the noble intentions cultivated here, to keep my heart soft and receptive to Your guidance, and to remember always that in Your remembrance do hearts find rest.
For in these moments of sacred solitude, I have found not an escape from life, but its very essence – the eternal dance between the soul and its Creator, the endless journey from self to Allah’s presence.
Each retreat becomes not an end, but a beginning, a renewal of the promise between servant and Lord, a reminder of our ultimate purpose and destination.
“And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me.”
QURAN 51:56
