The Journey Begins

A Seeker is one who is seeking Truth, to the exception of everything else

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This is my story! And the best part about it is that it is still evolving. Its not all in retrospect, though we will have to do a bit of that in order to catch up to present day 🙂

When did “seeking” start for me is hard to tell. When I was in 9th Standard somehow the question of “death” and “life being too short” appeared to me. And somehow magically I found the works of Swami Vivekananda. I did not understand a lot of what he said but somehow the fact that “seeking Truth” is indeed the true purpose of life had somehow registered in my young mind. But it was enveloped with the innocence and arrogance of puberty, a young mind trying to understand the “purpose of life”

Many years later, fast forward to when I was about 34 years old, the question appeared again and at that time I have seen a little bit of life. I was now a young father in a job and had spent some time in the US working an IT career. Somehow at that time I suddenly felt as if there is nothing to look forward to in life. We had just returned from the US and had settled in Bangalore, India and everything was as it was supposed to be. But within me, I was burning. I needed answers, I needed a Teacher, and a living one at that. Somehow, thankfully, the question has re-appeared – “Why am I here and who am I?”

I have often wondered why is it that some people get this question and others do not. While my ego has tried to flatter me with the impression that I am special, I know I am not. A seeker slowly develops a clear vision, and in that I have seen that we all are kind of similar. Then why do some get it and some don’t? I have no clue. I have seen that the question does appear, but it seems most people are way too attracted to their life to give this question a chance. In the Mahabharata, there is a story where Yudhisthira, the eldest Pandava brother was asked “what is the most surprising thing in the world?” and to that he answered “the fact that everyone sees people dying around them but believe they will themselves never die is the most strange thing in the world”. I have found this very relevant. I also recall Ramana Maharshi who said “It is by the Grace of God that you think of God” which also appealed to me a lot. May be because I really do not know why only few would find the question of “who am I and why I am here” to be appealing? May be there is Grace that make it stick for few, who knows? If you ask me I would say, should this not be the first question to ask?

What a strange life we all lead. We keep saying “me me” the entire day, and we have no clue who this “me” is. Most relate the “I” to the body, and some to the “mind” whereas in reality no one has a freaking clue. A Seeker does not assume, a Seeker is very clear that he/she does NOT know and is open to finding out the truth of his/her being. That is how I feel. Seeking has nothing to do with religion and has to nothing to do with anything else. A Seeker must have intensity towards the seeking itself, while they may do other things to sustain their normal life; within them they are always burning with the question “Who am I?” This is the state of a Seeker!

And when such is the state, the answers appear. And that is my story to tell, at least to where I am now. I am not a Buddha or anything, but in many small ways I have realized that a sincere question asked with intensity, always get answered. And for me, that answer started when I met Sri Sri Ravi Shankar in Bangalore!

 

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